LoveChildren are special creatures born out of Love (and sometimes, wedlock). In redesigning the LoveChild game, we realized that each LoveChild had unique properties that made it more special than any other child. As we rebuilt the game (and the algorithm) from the ground up, we wanted to make sure each LoveChild you create would take on a life of its own. That is, each LoveChild would exhibit different personalities, creating a unique experience for the parent every time you play the game. Like all non-virtual children, LoveChildren are a function of nature and nurture. Each begins life with a set of traits beyond your control, and each develops new attributes depending on how your raise them.
Today we’re going to give you a sneak peak at a few genetic profiles of the LoveChildren to give you a sense of what’s to come. Enjoy!
The “Jumping Gee-Willickers Gee-Whizz Aww, shucks… Gee-Golly!” LoveChild
Smily-McSmilerson. Always beaming with joy. Time to clean the kitchen? Well Boy Howdy! Combine that son-of-a-diddly Flanders-Go-Lucky attitude with his penchant for perfection and you’ve got the perfect LoveChild!
Perfect, until he wets your bed. Not enough attention and your child might manifest that angst into something even worse than chicken pox.
Don’t know what we’re talking about? Just follow the Yellow Brick Road.
The “Every-sport wunder-kid!”
Where there’s a track, he’ll run it… Where there’s a ball, he’ll smash it… Where there’s a playground, he’ll own it…
Faster than a speeding tricycle, stronger than Russian Olympians in their prime, he’s the “Every-Sport Wunder-Kid!”
The only people more competitive are the parents of the other team.
The “GI-Joe / Power Ranger / Captain Commando of the Renegade Rebel Alliance!!!” LoveChild
Part Chuck Norris, part Redbull, all can of whoop-ass–this LoveChild subsists primarily on an extreme diet of toy action hero commercials and high-sugared cereal. Only the sturdiest of trees can withstand the mighty aftershocks of his merciless wake. Beware, unturned leaf/snail/animate/inanimate object! Your destruction is upon you.
Action Haiku:
“Communicates well
when talking with two closed fists.
I’m gonna get you.”
Oh yes, he will. Oh yes–he will.
